While at the Whitney this weekend to see the William Eggleston retrospective (amazing btw), I came across a couple of O’Keefe’s I never knew were there. I don’t care if it’s cliche, I’ve always loved her paintings, and whenever an overwhelming problem or life changing decision is looming, I go up to the Met and sit by the O’Keefe’s until I’ve worked it out. I think the last time I was up there was the day before my birthday of last year, but that was more for general reaffirmation than focus on a specific issue.
So I haven’t felt the need to visit in a while. On one hand that could be viewed as a good thing, an implication that there has been no reason to take a step back and check in. On the other, it could be that this year has been happening at such a hectic pace that decisions were made (or avoided) faster than usual, without properly evaluating if they were the right ones for me. Now that the smoke has cleared, and next steps have to be made, it’s time to be honest about what makes me happy and what does not (or chooses not to).
I know this sounds broad and cryptic, and perhaps seems inappropriate to include in a public blog. However, even though F that S is at first glance about floral design, it is also about a journey of change, and those close to me will be noticing some major changes (and absences) in the next few weeks. Just know that all decisions were mine, and although they were not easy to make, they were based on what I believe is best for me. And the fact that just a year ago, I would have been unable to make such a decision gives me the affirmation I need to move past being sad, and just keep moving.