Whatever Blows Your Skirt Up, Sandy

It’s a windy day in the North Country.

This is exactly how I look right now

In preparation for the impending doom of Hurricane Sandy, Butch and I managed to lazily pick up a couple of cans of soup and half-fill the tub with some water. Oh, and I did some emergency clothes-shopping in Watertown on Sunday after dropping off my shrines for next week’s art show. But seriously, based on our existing wood stove and survivalist neighbors, we didn’t work ourselves into too much of a tissy. I don’t mean to sound blasé about the “hurricane to end all hurricanes” but we’re smack dab in the middle of underground bunker country.

I know, every “homesteader” has this Pinned already

I mean, I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised to see my neighbor, Robin, kill (re-kill?) a zombie with her bare hands. She is a lady you want on your side.

All this talk about societal meltdown made me think of one of the interesting guest teachers from my PDC course: Andrew Jones. He came to speak to us specifically about disaster preparedness – or, as I like to call it, common sense! Jones co-authored a book last year titled Surviving Disaster Without Leaving Home. The description from Amazon sounds like the script for the next apocalyptic box-office hit (or a really awesome hidden objects game at the Kindle app store):

Imagine a scenario where all of the public services and normal environment you now live suddenly disappears. A disaster, either man-made or natural will generate the same result. Suddenly you find yourself on your own. There are no police to protect you, no fireman to rescue you; for one reason or another you are cut off from the outside world. The stores are all closed or inaccessible, there are no gas stations open for 100 miles. Evacuation may or may not be an option. In any event, you decide to stay where you are and to make do with what you have. However, if you decide to stay, this book will help you prepare to shelter in place. By following these procedures, you can make your sheltering-in-place scenario more livable. One of the most important decisions you will ever make is whether or not to “tough it out” during a storm or to stay in place during an unrest of nature or man. The reason it is so important is that it has mortal consequences. Truly the best decision is the one that will secure the safety of yourself and family. The problem is that it is difficult to predict what the situation will bring and how to prepare for it. If you cannot be sure of you safety, you need to leave: Evacuate. Once you make the decision to stay your options will become very limited very fast. You must have all materials in play. What questions will this book help me answer? Prior planning is key.

Prior planning being the key phrase here. Last year, I blogged about creating a “storm shelter,” with a link to an article about food storage over at Apartment Therapy. As I said before, the comment section of that article made me weep for humanity. One peppy, bobble-headed, presumably city-girl-for-life summed it up:

…doesn’t it seem more prudent to put that $10 into a savings account, so you have extra money that could not ONLY be used for food during lean times, but also medicine, clothes or shoes, rent . . .

There are so many things wrong with this statement that I wouldn’t even know where to begin. I’ll just let Peppy figure it out for herself as she hobbles down to the ATM in her new Louboutins and ends up as Zombie-food (or worse, as Andrew Jones quipped, the victim of “unrest”).

But back to the storm at hand. I would be a lot more concerned if I was still living near the coast in Brooklyn. But then again, maybe I wouldn’t, if anything can be surmised by the nonchalant-ness of my city peeps’ Facebook updates. I fully expect to see a casual iPhone photo of the under-side of a Tsunami by end of day.

Let’s record our dying words and then play it back to make sure our hair looks ok

But seriously (aka, in hopes of not inciting anonymous internet wrath), I hope everyone stays safe, stays dry and aren’t forced to eat your cats. And, on that note, it’s back to business as usual!

Scary Mary, out!

P.S. A much funnier version of this post is up now at Jezebel (what a surprise)!

Marilyn photo from I Am Not A Stalker
Canning pic from everywhere on Pinterest
Cloverfield movie still from IMDB
Poppins from Eddie Rays Movie Reviews


One thought on “Whatever Blows Your Skirt Up, Sandy

  1. Nothing has changed. The “end of civilization as we know it” is nothing new. Back in the day, Dad and I were preparing for “the crunch”, growing our own food, canning what we could and stocking the pantry. Always a good idea!

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